We’d watched this movie before, but this time when we watched it, I felt like I had a bunch of fingers pointed at me.
Specifically one scene, is one that YAHUAH used to bring about change in my heart. The movie was WarRoom and the scene I am referring to is when the old wise woman, Mrs. Clara came back in the room and asked Elizabeth “Did you finish your list?”
Elizabeth responds by saying that she had a lot more to say and how her husband had offended her so many times and she goes on and on!
Mrs. Clara then asked her how much she prayed for her husband.
Elizabeth admitted she really didn’t pray for him.
Earlier that week same week that we watched WarRoom, we’d had a spat again. And once again, I ran upstairs, slammed the door and grabbed my journal and started writing. After a few minutes of writing out my “prayer” I went back and read old entries.
They were nearly the same.
I had been writing the same sad words for years. Why? Oh sometimes the entries looked like prayers but really it was me having my own pity party complaining to YAHUAH. Woe, is me…Why me..When will he…the same thing over and over.
So that night, I thought, if I am writing the same things, maybe I need to do something different.
Right at the end of that scene in War Room, YAHUAH directed me to get rid of all my journals. He said that by writing my complaints in my journals, I was harboring unforgiveness towards my husband.
I thought I had forgiven him, but not really. Not from my heart.
See if I really had forgiven him, I wouldn’t be holding his past mistakes as ammunition for our next disagreement. I wouldn’t be keeping a tally mark for what “I” saw as wrong. So I shared what YAHUAH had said with my husband and I threw away my journals. Now when I pray in my journals, I am not writing a list of complaints, nor “woe is me” entries but rather lifting him up and changing my anger in to prayers.
Which leads me to share #3 – See Change
YAHUAH also opened my eyes to see how much my husband had truly changed. He really is not the same man I married nearly 15 years ago – and I am H-A-P-P-Y about that! Praise YAHUAH. YAHUAH began to show me his awesome qualities and things that I truly needed to be thankful for. For example, he is not out running the streets with his “boys” he loves being at home – he is a “home hubby.” He loves YAHUAH and worships Him. He reads the scriptures to us. He prays with and for us. He is crazy about me and an awesome father. He is good with our finances – I don’t worry whether or not stuff is getting paid – I know he takes good care of us. He is funny and is a good bowler. He is self-sacrificing.
In the last year, I have come to love him more than ever. I no longer magnify nor focus on his faults. Instead I pray for him and try to honor him more. I have also read many encouraging blogs and articles that have helped me to see things differently (I will share books and blogs in another post.)
So today, fellow wives, truly and continually forgive your husband and see how much YAHUAH has changed him and you.