15 Years, 15 Encouragements: #2 Forget the Past & #3 See Change

We’d watched this movie before, but this time when we watched it, I felt like I had a bunch of fingers pointed at me.

Specifically one scene, is one that YAHUAH used to bring about change in my heart.  The movie was WarRoom and  the scene I am referring to is when the old wise woman, Mrs. Clara came back in the room and asked  Elizabeth “Did you finish your list?”

Elizabeth responds by saying that she had a lot more to say and how her husband had offended her so many times and she goes on and on!

Mrs. Clara then asked her how much she prayed for her husband.

Elizabeth admitted she really didn’t pray for him.

Earlier that week same week that we watched WarRoom, we’d had a spat again.  And once again, I ran upstairs, slammed the door and grabbed my journal and started writing.  After a few minutes of writing out my “prayer” I went back and read old entries.

They were nearly the same.

I had been writing the same sad words for years.  Why?  Oh sometimes the entries looked like prayers but really it was me having my own pity party complaining to YAHUAH.  Woe, is me…Why me..When will he…the same thing over and over.

So that night, I thought, if I am writing the same things, maybe I need to do something different.

Right at the end of that scene in War Room, YAHUAH directed me to get rid of all my journals.   He said that by writing my complaints in my journals, I was harboring unforgiveness towards my husband.

That hurt.

I thought I had forgiven him, but not really. Not from my heart.

See if I really had forgiven him, I wouldn’t be holding his past mistakes as ammunition for our next disagreement.  I wouldn’t be keeping a tally mark for what “I” saw as wrong.  So I shared what YAHUAH had said with my husband and I threw away my journals.  Now when I pray in my journals, I am not writing a list of complaints, nor “woe is me” entries but rather lifting him up and changing my anger in to prayers.

Which leads me to share #3 – See Change

YAHUAH also opened my eyes to see how much my husband had truly changed.  He really is not the same man I married nearly 15 years ago – and I am H-A-P-P-Y about that!  Praise YAHUAH.  YAHUAH began to show me his awesome qualities and things that I truly needed to be thankful for.  For example, he is not out running the streets with his “boys” he loves being at home – he is a “home hubby.”  He loves YAHUAH and worships Him.  He reads the scriptures to us.  He prays with and for us. He is crazy about me and an awesome father.  He is good with our finances – I don’t worry whether or not stuff is getting paid – I know he takes good care of us.  He is funny and is a good bowler.  He is self-sacrificing.

In the last year, I have come to love him more than ever.  I no longer magnify nor focus on his faults.  Instead I pray for him and try to honor him more.  I have also read many encouraging blogs and articles that have helped me to see things differently (I will share books and blogs in another post.)

So today, fellow wives, truly and continually forgive your husband and see how much YAHUAH has changed him and you.

No More Devouring!

Recently we have witnessed, the ending of three families on our street.  Many of the people in our subdivision, are people in their late thirties to early fifties.  They are families raising children of various ages-a few children, have just begun their college journey.

While we don’t make it our business to know what is going on in the homes of other people, when a spouse seems to be missing, houses are suddenly for sale or a different woman or man is coming around, one can’t help but notice that things have changed.

As we have noticed these changes we have been grieved.  Grieved for the children that are now living between two homes.  Grieved because a partnership and possibly a friendship has ended.  Grieved because what was meant “to be for the rest of my life” is now torn asunder.

Over the last few months, we have faced our share of marriage challenges.  Sometimes the challenges were intense enough to have a thought of getting a divorce (destroying our own family).  Sometimes there have been just minor misunderstandings.  Sometimes it seems as though there are days that we cannot make it through without being upset with each other about something.

Marriage is work.  Marriage is hard.  The enemy hates marriage.  As I have thought about writing the next part of Sarah’s Life, I have begun to take note that often the enemy comes in with destruction through subtle ways, seemingly harmless thoughts, moments of doubt and/or in ways/people/situations that we don’t have our armor up for.  In Sarah’s life, she did not recognize the enemy speaking to her (Yashar 23:76-86).  He came to her twice in a form that was not threatening.  The form that he took, was viewed by Sarah as an old humble meek man-she did not recognize him so she let his words stir up her worst fear and cause her to panic (I’ll finish her story later).

Many times lately, I haven’t recognized the enemy.  I’ve gotten caught up in the moment of whatever the situation was-not even realizing who was behind it.  In some cases, I have recognized the hand of the enemy and in those times, I have chosen to do things differently.  But this takes continual work and prayer.  We must stay on guard, in every area of our lives.  We must not let our marriages become devoured.

Soon my husband and I will have been married 15 years and so I have been working on writing a post, about some important things I have learned.  But whenever we have an issue, it is the last thing I want to write about.  That is a tactic of the enemy.  Keeping the knowledge to myself, keeps me fruitless but it also stops someone who might be encouraged-from receiving encouragement.

It is time to stop letting the sneaky lion, find ways to devour our homes, marriages, children, faith, belief and hope.  With much prayer and continual forgiveness and love with YAHUAH’s help, our marriages don’t have to become another statistic.

Coming soon…