Who Was She? Hannah – The Enemy’s Provoking Has A Time Limit

She felt like a failure.

She felt purposeless.

Provoked and tormented by her enemy day after, year after year, month after month…baby after baby, her enemy pushed her, harassed her, irritated her. Peninnah may have used every opportunity to provoke Hannah especially at the yearly sacrifice! Mocking her and treating her mean with ill contempt Peninnah, pointed out that Hannah was the problem. Also, since it was expected for women to have children, the others in the community may have looked at her scornfully, talked about her, or laughed at her too.

Yes she must be the problem, not her husband, Elqanah. He was fruitful through Peninnah and she was not.

Though she was loved and favored by him, she was powerless to do anything to change her barrenness. No doubt she had tried every remedy known to the women she knew, still nothing worked. What was wrong with her? What had she done wrong? Did she have some sin in her heart that caused the problem? Why after so many years, was she still unable to do what every woman at that time desired to do, be a mother?

One year when they went to Shiyloh, to sacrifice and to worship YAHUAH TSEVA’OT, she could take no more. She was beyond desperation. She was despondent and vexed to the point that she stopped eating-her sorrow could no longer be concealed. Fleeing she went to the Temple and there she wept profusely. Her pain so heavy and tears in bitterness, she appeared to be in a state of drunkenness to the High Priest, Eli. As she cried out to YAHUAH TSEVA’OT she said:

When Eli realized that this woman was not drunk but rather pouring out her heavy heart, he blessed her. In her prayer and Eli’s blessing, the enemy’s provoking had lots its power. She returned no longer in sorrow but full of strength and joy. After so many years of praying, she was finally heard.

A song comes to mind by Rita Springer called Defender when I read this, the lyrics are:

You go before I know
That You’ve gone to win my war
You come back with the head of my enemy
You come back and You call it my victory

You go before I know
That You’ve gone to win my war
Your love becomes my greatest defense
It leads me from the dry wilderness

All I did was praise
All I did was worship
All I did was bow down
All I did was stay still

You have saved me
So much better Your way
Hallelujah, great Defender
So much better Your way

You know before I do
Where my heart can seek to find Your truth
Your mercy is the shade I’m living in
You restore my faith and hope again

All I did was praise
All I did was worship
All I did was bow down
All I did was stay still

Sometimes there is nothing we can do but worship. We cannot change the circumstances or situations. We’ve done all that we can do. We are at the end of our rope. We are broken and in despair.

I know of a woman who was married to an abusive, adulterating man, who continually provoked her to anger day after day. Sometimes he would say he was sorry but nothing changed. The woman tried to wait, tried to hope, tried to believe he would change and things only got worse. Until one day, while praying she received her answer and a year later the way was made for her to start over. During the waiting time, nothing the man did or said, bothered her again-the enemy’s provoking had lost its power.

Today, woman of YAHUAH, you may be experiencing the enemy’s provoking in your life. Maybe it is in a work situation, a sickness that is unrelenting, a relationship that is driving you crazy, even hoping for a child that is wayward or unborn -year after year you have hoped and you have prayed yet nothing has changed. It may seem like the enemy has the upper hand in your life, but know that YAHUAH has a perfect time. Hannah’s barrenness was not caused by her. It was caused by YAHUAH for His purpose and in His time, the barrenness was turned around, just as it was for Sarah and Rachel.

Woman, don’t stop crying out. Don’t stop praying. One day, YAHUAH may speak through someone:

“Go in peace: and the Elohim of Yisra’el grant you your petition that you have asked of Him.” 1 Shemu’el 1:17

For even more encouragement, listen to the previous week’s Sabbath Message of Hope called

The Broken Woman and also this week’s current Message of Hope called Broken for HIS Glory.

This post is based is based off the book of 1 Shemu’el chapter 1. While reading Jill Eilleen Smith’s book about Hannah called A Passionate Hope, I saw how provoked Hannah may have been. Though the book is a fictional account it accurately follows the scripture story and has some further things to consider such as the other things that were going on during this time in history. The sons Eli were corrupt and were polluting the temple while Eli did nothing. Another aspect of the story was how hard it may have been for Elqanah and Hannah to fulfill the vow in giving Shemu’el back to YAHUAH. Furthermore, I saw in the book, that sometimes we may have to help our enemy and that they both shared the same type of despair.

Shabbat Message: Broken For HIS Glory

Why me?

Why is this happening to me?

What did I do to deserve this?

How come I am dealing with this?

Why am I…broken?

There are times in our lives when neither our own sin or the sins of others is the reason for the situations or circumstances we are going through.  Something’s we are born with.  Something’s that happen are seasons in our lives.  Either way there is a purpose for everything. 

Brokenness often comes as a purpose for our own belief or to help others to believe.  We can be broken for hope. Often we cannot see the outcome of our brokenness while we are in it.  So we must learn to have hope while we are broken trusting that He loves us enough to show forth HIS glory through and to us.

This Sabbath Message Broken for His Glory comes to share Hope and Joy for the broken.  Whether you feel blind or lame, be it physically, spiritually or emotionally today, there is hope. Click here or on the image below to listen to this week’s Sabbath Message of Hope.

He Always Hears Me

  He Always Hears Me

If I could,
I’d climb the uppermost mountain in the world.
I’d stand on its uppermost peak
and I’d shout as loud as I could:
Followed by,
What do You want from me?
What is going on down here?
What is the purpose of pain?
What is the purpose of loneliness?
What is it that I need to do differently?
What is Your purpose for me?
What is Your plan for this situation?
What do You want me to do?
What are You going to do with all the wickedness that is abounding?
What changes do I need to make?
What do I need to do to know that You are here?
What have I done to displease You?
What can I do for Your mercy?
If I could,
I’d climb the highest mountain in the world.
I’d stand on its highest peak
and I’d yell as loud as I could:
YAHUAH, CAN You hear me?
Followed by,
Where are You?
Do You see me?
What are You going to do about this situation?
Where are other believers?
Where is my deliverance?
When are things going to change?
What’s wrong with me?
Why is there so much pain in life?
If I could,
I’d climb the tallest mountain in the world.
I’d stand on its tallest peak
and I’d bellow as loud as I could:
How am I to live my life before You?
How do I let my light shine, in times like these?
How do I encourage my husband?
How do I reassure our kids?
How can I better example?
How can I be a better friend?
How can I make better choices?
But instead,
I lay down,
realizing that I don’t need to go anywhere.
YAHUAH hears me.

He hears me
But I don’t always hear Him.
I miss His voice.
I miss His voice because I am looking in the wrong places,
I miss His voice because I am too busy,
I miss His voice because I don’t want to accept His answer,
I miss His voice because it doesn’t sound like I want it to-
you know the one we all listen for –

But He speaks through the smallest of whispers,
He speaks through the tears of a friend,
He speaks through the prayers of a husband,
He speaks through handmade cards,
He speaks through the cords of a song,
He speaks through the smiles of a child,
He speaks through the strangest of dreams,
He speaks through the unexpected hugs-big and small,
He speaks through the chirping of the birds,
He speaks through the tear-jerking moments in movies,
He speaks through the beauty of the sunrise,
He speaks through the calm in a storm,
He speaks through the closed doors,
He speaks through the open windows,
He speaks through the testimonies of overcomers…
Through all my questions,
My worries,
My fears,
My sorrows
My tears
He always hears me.

Written by: A Joyful Womanhood 6/15/2019 4:00pm

Shabbat Message: The Broken Woman

Seems like no one is listening?

Does the heavenly Father, even hear the cry of women?

Doesn’t He see the problems in our lives?

Does He even care?

Doesn’t He see I am at the end of my rope?

Yes He does. Three woman.  Three encounters.  Three deliverance’s.  Three stories of hope and encouragement to us today.

So if you feel broken, discouraged, disappointed, worn down, or hopeless, YAHUAH has sent a word to you today!  Watch and listen to this Shabbat Message: The Broken Woman.




Scripture-Gramming: Guard+Do

Here is a scripture-gram that I have been meditating on the past week:


“And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we guard His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.  And this is His commandment, that we should believe on the name of His Son YAHUSHA HaMASHIACH and love one another, as He gave us commandment.  And he that guards His commandments dwells in him, and He in him.  And hereby we know that He abides in us, by the Ruach which He has given us.”

1 John 3:22-24

When I read these verses, I focused on the fact that believing on the a Name of YAHUSHA Messiah and loving one another are placed together.  I believe on the Name of YAHUSHA HaMashiach, but do I love others?  Loving others also pleases our heavenly Father YAHUAH.

The Power of YAHUSHA’s Sacrifice

Have you ever thought about what a sin sacrifice might have looked like?

Recently, I read a book by Jill Eileen Smith called “The Crimson Cord” which is about Rahab.  I know the book is a historical fictional account based on scriptures, however as I was reading about Rahab’s view point on the sacrifice that Yahusha son on Nun lead, I found that it was eye opening.

“The journey to Mount Ebal took two days, and the building of the altar was a process such as Rahab had never seen.  No iron tool like those used in quarries touched the uncut stones that the men of Israel crated up the hill.  Rahab stood with the women, her gaze often straying to Salmon as he hefted heavy stones with apparent ease and put them exactly where Joshua indicated.

At last, the altar completed, the priests came forward with bleating lambs and lowing oxen, Rahab stood beside Eliana, transfixed one moment, stricken the next.  Every time a lamb’s throat was slit and its blood caught in a bronze basin, she felt the weight of her past, memories she thought long hidden flooding her mind.  The blood became each man who knocked on her door, the lambs the babe she had last.

Her vision blurred as she watched the innocent die for the guilty.  Despite Salmon’s attempt at explanation, she still did not grasp how this could free or make her clean.  Even if she spent the rest of her life punished for her sins, she would not feel clean.  Why should a lamb suffer on her account?

(I am not going to quote the whole 2-3 pages, but at one point during the sin sacrifice, Yahusha son of Nun instructions Salmon to offer Rahab an opportunity to have a lamb sacrificed for her and Salmon. Now see what happens.)

Her fingers rested against the lamb’s woolly neck, and she sensed its terror, felt the beating of its heart.  She barely heard the last words of the priest, but then, too soon, another priest slit the lamb’s throat.  She felt its heart stop in an instant.  A sob escaped her.  “Oh Elohim, O Elohim!” She fell to her knees, rocking back and forth, as the priest caught the lamb’s blood and lifted its limb body to place on YAHUAH’s altar.

The tears flowed freely now as her fingers explored the soft fur of the glistening white lamb.  Take me instead.  Don’t make this sweet animal die in my place.

…why did You spare me? The lamb did nothing wrong.  It was I, Elohim of Israel.  I alone who sinned against You.  ”

*italics indicate where I have corrected the Name of YAHUAH, Yahusha son of Nun and the title of Elohim. Quoted from pages 275-277

This was not some everyday practice for Rahab.  She was a foreigner who choose to help Yisra’el and eventually join herself to them.  In order to become Salmon’s wife she would have had to experience sacrifices and complete other requirements according to the law.  So for her, realizing the weight of her sin would have been real.  I will come back and focus on her later, there is another aspect to focus on.

When I think about the sacrifice that YAHUSHA Messiah willfully choose to do on my behalf, I am in awe.  His sinless life, for my sin-filled life is completely uncomprehendable.  He didn’t wait for me to choose to believe in Him.  He didn’t wait for me to follow commands or to get my life right.  He paid the penalty for my sins and reconciled me to YAHUAH.  There are no strings attached to YAHUAH’s Grace and there is nothing I can do to earn His Forgiveness.

For a few weeks now, I have been reading through Hebrews, and have had my eyes further opened.  This week when I read chapter 10, I thought about the people living prior to YAHUSHA Messiah’s death.  Back then, there was a remembrance of sin year by year but due to YAHUSHA’s death there is no longer a remembrance of sin!!!  No yearly going back and again and again, sacrificing over and over, for the same sin!  The past is in the past and the slate has been cleaned:

“For the Torah having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect.  For then would they have not ceased to be offered? Because the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins.  But in those sacrifices there is a remembrance again made of sins every year.  For it is impossible that the blood of bulls and of goats take away sins.” Hebrews 10:1-5

The Torah pointed the way to YAHUSHA Messiah but it did not clean nor does it perfect us.  An animal can’t truly comprehend sin but YAHUSHA did.  He was tempted as we are, yet without sin.

“Wherefore when He came into the world, He said, “Sacrifice and offering You would not, but a body You have prepared me: In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin You had no pleasure.”

Then said I, “Lo, I came (in the volume of the cepheriym it is written of me,) to do Your will, O YAH.”

Above when He said, “Sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and offering for sin You would not, neither had pleasure therein; which are offered by the Torah;

Then said He, “Lo, I come to do Your will, O YAH.” He takes away the first, to establish the second.  By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of YAHUSHA HAMASHIACH once for all.” Hebrews 10:5-10

One time.  Not daily. Not yearly. ONCE.  We are cleansed, purified-no longer are we in need of rituals-but by His Body we are clean!

“And every priest stands daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down on the right hand of YAHUAH.” Hebrews 10:11-12

YAHUSHA’s work is done, finished, over, and completed!  FOREVER-YAHUSHA’sdeath doesn’t need to happen again.  My sins have been taken away completely!

“From henceforth expecting till His enemies be made His footstool.  For by one offering He has perfected forever them that are sanctified.” Hebrews 10:13-14

There is no limit or expiration date of His offering.  It is eternal.  His offering is FOREVER!!!

“Whereof the Ruach Haqoesh also is a witness to us: for after that He had said before, “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days,” says YAHUAH, “I will put my Torah into their hearts, and in their minds will I write it; And their sins and Torahless deeds I will remember no more.” Hebrews 10:15-17

No more remembrance, my sins are gone, finite, destroyed, erased, removed, purged…no matter the word used, YAHUAH (when I confess and repent) remembers my sins NO MORE!  Also, back then, the law was written on tablets of stone by the leader and/or priest.  Now YAHUAH, Himself, writes it on our hearts and in our minds-this is personal.  No more separation.

“Now where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer a slaughter offering for sin.  So, brothers, having boldness to enter into the Set-apart Place by the blood of YAHUSHA, by a new and living way which He instituted for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of YAHUAH, let us draw near with a true heart in completeness of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from a wicked conscience and our bodies washed with clean water.” Hebrews 10:18-22

The debt/penalty of sin has been fulfilled.  There is no need for us to be afar from the Father YAHUAH, we can come close to Him, through YAHUSHA!

So when the enemy comes and attempts to bring my sins up, I can freely say that I have been forgiven and I have YAHUSHA’s Resurrection Power!  While our oldest daughter was playing Resurrection Power on her acoustic guitar one night, I meditated on the words:

You called me from the grave by name
You called me out of all my shame
I see the old has passed away
The new has come!

Now I have Resurrection Power
Living on the inside
YAHUSHA, You have given us freedom
No longer bound by sin and darkness
Living in the light of Your goodness
You have given us freedom

*Songwriters: Ed Cash / Tony Brown / Ryan Ellis

So I am thankful to have a glimpse of the sacrifice that Rahab experienced but I am rejoicing over the Reconciliation and Forgiveness I have through the shed blood of YAHUSHA HaMashiach!!!

I am clean!


Condiment or Foundation

The other day, I had the opportunity to observe a good number of people in different settings.  As I observed I noticed that in nearly every interaction with each other, the facilities, and visitors, they were authentic.  Their faith was not something that was just poured on like a condiment, giving a taste but not the key ingredient.

So I began to think, do I sprinkle in bible phrases/words/action at random/when convenient or when I speak/interact is it from my heart?  Are my words from a heart that has been truly changed?  Or am I just familiar with faith enough to seem to have the appearance of faith but posses no real root?

If someone were to observe me, would they see that my faith is the foundation of life or a condiment?


Living Ready or Relaxed

Standing in the kitchen the other day, I stopped and looked around.  The daily clean-up was getting done, but not the deep cleaning.  As I went about my tasks of preparing for Sabbath, I noticed every room in our house had the same problem.   It used to be done but when did it stop?

Then I remembered that at one point we had our house on the market and we lived in ready mode.  We never knew when an agent would request a showing so we kept our house “show ready” at all times (except the Sabbath).  Everyone willingly helped and did their best to clean up and not make too many messes.

If you have ever sold a home, you may know that people will look through all your stuff and it is best to clean – everything!  So we did.  Our house was very clean.  When we received feedback, buyers often said “The house is in good condition and very clean.”

However now…daily chores are half-hardheartedly done and those other deeper cleaning ones seem to get pushed back to another day-day after day.

While it wasn’t our time to sell, the time we were on the market was important.  I learned numerous things:

  • We should be living ready for either the return of the Messiah, whether that is through going to sleep in the dust of the earth or at His appearance.
    • Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great Elohim and our Saviour YAHUSHA HAMASHIACH – Titus 2:13
  • When we are living ready, we work to keep the rooms of our heart free from clutter and dirt (sin).
    • Clean and undefiled religion before the Elohim and the Father is this: to visit the orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” James 1:27
  • When we live ready, we carefully choose the things that are most important to do – we prioritize our time.  We set time to pray, worship, read the Word and help others.
    • “But seek first the reign of Elohim, and His righteousness, and all these shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:33
  • When we live ready, we don’t just allow anything into our hearts.
    • Keep your heart with all diligence; for out it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
    • “For out of the heart come forth wicked reasonings, murders, adulteries, whorings, thefts, false witnessings, slanders.” Matthew 15:19
  • Do we allow the Set-Apart Spirit and the Word to clean areas in our minds, hearts, and spirits? Do we allow areas that hold storage’s of bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, rejection and fear to be exposed and cleaned?  Or, do we only have a surface cleaning of our minds, hearts and spirits-only producing faith that is outward (saying the right verses at the right time, saying we are praying) without real life change?
    • “For the Word of Elohim is living, and working, and sharper than any two-edged sword, cutting through even to the dividing of being and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
  • Do we allow ourselves to be stretched, molded and shaped by the hands of the Master?  Or are we comfortable and relaxed, not willing to go beyond where we are now?
    • “And now, O YAHUAH, You are our Father.  We are the clay, and You our potter.  And we are the work of Your hand.” Isaiah 64:8
  • Are we letting go of things that hinder us or are we holding on to things out of fear and safety?
    • “We too, then, having so great a cloud of witnesses all around, lay us aside every weight and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race set before us, looking to the Prince and Perfecter of our belief, YAHUSHA, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, having despised the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of Elohim.” Hebrews 12:1-2
  • Are we choosing to be filled as we walk in the spirit with its fruit or are we choosing to be filled according to the world becoming friends of it?
    • “Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with Elohim?  Whoever therefore intends to be a friend of world makes himself an enemy of Elohim.” James 4:4
  • Are we choosing to become a reflection of His character or choosing to be conformed to the world?
    • “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you prove what is that good and well-pleasing and perfect desire of Elohim.” Romans 12:2
  • Are we dying daily to self and sin, or are we playing with salvation by repenting one day and still choosing to sin again the next day?
    • “And He said to them all, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow.” Luke 9:23
  • Are we following the Set-Apart Spirit’s leading in allowing sanctification to take place continually or are we procrastinating and putting off repentance and salvation, until we are ready for it?
    • Wash me completely from my guilt, and cleanse me from my sin.” Psalms 51:2
    • “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were set apart, but you were declared right in the Name of the Master YAHUSHA and the Spirit of our Elohim.” 1 Corinthians 6:11
    • “Let us draw near with a true heart in completeness of belief having our hearts sprinkled from a wicked conscience and our bodies washed with clean water.” Hebrews 10:22
    • “But when the kindness and the love of Elohim our Saviour toward man appeared, He saved us, not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to His compassion, through the washing of rebirth, and renewal by the Set-apart Spirit, which He poured out on us richly through YAHUSHA Messiah our Saviour, that having been declared right by His grace we should become heirs according to the expectation of everlasting life.” Titus 3:5
    • “Now that you have cleansed your lives in obeying the truth through the Spirit to unfeigned brotherly love, love one another fervently with a clean heart, having been born again – not of corruptible seed, but incorruptible – through the living Word of Elohim, which remains forever,” 1 Peter 1:22-23
    • “For he in whom these are not present is blind, being shortsighted, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his old sins.” 1 Peter 1:9
  • If YAHUSHA our Messiah would come to our home, what would He find? Would He find our hearts in order or will He find them full of the cares of the world?

I want to be found living ready, what about you?

Overcoming Emotional Eating

Here again, I was standing in the pantry, looking through the shelves, thinking “there has got to be some chips in here somewhere.  Where are they???”

I didn’t need them.

But I was stressed. Or maybe depressed. Or feeling hopeless. Or defeated…or something.

Whatever it was, I needed a distraction and chips seemed to be the perfect solution.  Finally, I spotted them and as I started reaching for them, I felt YAHUAH’s Spirit saying “pray through.”

Pray through?  Why?  Pray what?

Slowly I walked out of the pantry and began to pray.

This happens frequently, almost daily in some form.  When I was pregnant with our second daughter years ago, I read about emotional eating and I started paying more attention to what, when and why I was eating.  Keeping this focus has helped many times over the years.  Sometimes I succeeded and sometimes I failed.

Recently though as I was thinking about how much discipline it takes to stay in Ketosis (I‘ve been off and on Keto for over a year now).  I realized it’s not just my own choice to use self-control, but in that moment that I want to eat something, I have other choices.  The choices are: to pray asking for YAHUAH’s help in the situation(s) that is/are going on; to praise because it takes the focus off of me; and/or to stand still because sometimes it is a spiritual battle, therefore speaking The Word does helps mightily.

YAHUAH is helping me to see that food cannot solve the problem, nor can it help.  It rather causes more problems.  When I choice to indulge in eating chips (I cannot eat just one), I usually feel my blood sugars go up very high nearly immediately (Diabetes 2 runs in my family and praise YAHUAH through diet I have been able avoid it), my stomach might start to feel like there are rocks in it (which happens with many chip brands) and if I continue over a few days/weeks then I will have weight increase.  Is the temporary, deceitful, empty filling of chips and the momentary perceived satisfaction really worth it?


Following YAHUAH’s leading is the best choice to make.  Not only does it do away with the physical consequences but every time I choose to submit to Him and lean on Him, I grow more in relationship with Him.  I’ve seen Him fight battles and change situations around.  As I choose to become humble and pray to Him saying that “I don’t know what to do” or “this is too much for me” and allow His peace to rest in me, I know that I can stay free from emotional eating.  Should I fall, as it sometimes happens, I can make a Life-Turn and get back on track with Him again.

I love the effects of choosing to not let food be my comfort!  I am gaining a stronger and closer relationship with Him, relying on His comfort brings that peace, and His Set-Apart Spirit that destroys the power of the enemy.

Time for A Life-Turn

She was desperate.

She was frantic.

She was anxious.

She was distressed.

She was hopeless.

She was despondent.

She was at the end of her rope.  She dreamed day after day, year after year, month after month-only to see the evidence of her natural desire unfulfilled.  She watched others bring forth life and felt the stabs of pain in her heart with every child’s cry she heard.  She probably tried numerous herbs and recommendations from other women.  Still nothing helped her.  What was she going to do?

To make matters worse, she’d no doubt heard others talking about her.  She’d seen their stares, felt their condemnation and scorn.  Surely they believed the problem was with her.  Motherhood was a defining point in a woman’s life-but not for her.  She was empty.

Now years later getting closer to 100, though her cycle had long ago ended, her desire for a baby of her own was still there.  In fact it was worse.  Beyond desperation, she thought there must be another way, especially since YAHUAH had promised them a son.


Sarah saw no other way, so a plan began to come together in her mind.  Her plan seemed perfect.  What could be the problem with it?

The problem was that it was not from YAHUAH.  His timing was way past the possibility of human control.  His plan was for an appointed time-a miracle by any standard.

Since Sarah got ahead of YAHUAH, she had to deal with some consequences she did not foresee.  She had pains, heart aches, worries and fears-all because she went ahead of YAHUAH.

How many times have we done the same things?

This is how I’ve felt off and on for a while.  What seemed like “good, logical, common sense things” to do weren’t part of YAHUAH’s will for us.  Over the last few years, in the back my mind, I had doubts with going forward with the things that we thought we should be doing.  I struggled with real peace during these times.  I found scripture verses to apply to the situations-creating  a false sense of peace yet further torment.  In the back of my mind though, I had the feeling that either we aren’t supposed to be making certain changes or that the timing was not right.  Still, we worked to try things this way and that way because it made sense to go in those directions-we had good reasons for continuing on.  Like Sarah, we had people around us who were doing some of the same things and having no problems succeeding, while we failed, every-single-time.

Like Sarah, dealing with the challenges of Hagar, while Hagar was pregnant, we began to have challenges and the stresses of trying to reach the end were consuming us.   I complained that I have no time for the things that I was supposed to be doing, that I was stressed out and that money was being wasted.  Yet I kept pushing for ways to make things work.

However we brought these challenges on ourselves.

Eventually though like Abraham and Sarah, it was time for a life-turn.  A life-turn is when we turned around, stopped and cut our losses from the situation, and then went back to the place where we first got off track.

Brick wall after brick wall we would hit and kept receiving no after no.  YAHUAH’s answer was clear.  YAHUAH was not leading us in that direction, at least not for right now in some instances.  In others, the answer may be yes but not right now…

When we stopped, when I stopped researching for ways to do these things, when we finally said no more, then peace came.  Sanity and order was restored.  Suddenly the financial constraints weren’t hard.  Yes, we did have some consequences to deal with.  The last affected one person in our families’ health.  It was horrible!  Again we had to cut our loses and walk away!

We had to see that we were coveting other people’s paths in life.  Coveting is against YAHUAH.  Coveting lead us to complain, to be ungrateful for where we were at that present time and to believe that the area/place/situational change would be better than what we have right now/had right then.  When we finally stopped and accepted that this is YAHUAH’s will for us right now, we then could see His divine hand of provision in our lives.

As we read through the Old Testament, I noticed something.  We people went through challenges, were blessed or were changed-the place was given a name-not that YAHUAH had additional names!  In this season of our life, I believe it is called Providence.

Providence is the place/time when we are in YAHUAH’s care, that He is the power sustaining and that He is guiding our every step.  We prayed daily YAHUAH don’t let us do anything outside of Your will and nothing happened at all.

At times, we were wondered what was wrong with us.  Why not us?  When is our time?

Yet our time had not come.

When we stopped looking at others, we began to see all the blessings that YAHUAH had given us.  Then we began to repent, asking YAHUAH for forgiveness for not believing His word and for not listening.  We began to thank Him for all the closed doors.  Furthermore, even though we tried to look at the good and bad of each decision, I know there were something’s we could not have seen, nor planned for but YAHUAH is All-Knowing and He kept us from moving forward for our own good!  His will is better for us to be stopped than for us to keep going.

I was listening to a special podcast from Crystal Hurst, which featured Crystal Hurst, Patricia Shrier and their mother Dr. Lois Evans (it was freebie for completing a survey) and I heard them say some things I already knew but this time it made so much more sense.

Mrs. Shrier said, “Just because I can, doesn’t mean that I should.”

Dr. Evans said, “When you have a decision to make, look 5, 10, 20 years down the line and think about how this one decision will affect you then.”

We could have continued and tried to find other ways but that didn’t mean that we should have.  Furthermore, in a few years, we may have had some big changes happening and this decision would have hindered those possible changes-greatly.

So we stopped.  We did a Life Turn.  In the last six years, we have had numerous Life Turns.  When I look back at those turns, I can see that though some of them where harder than others, they were the best decisions for us.  Life-Turns are necessary to put us back to the place where we went off track; we just have to put our trust in YAHUAH and turn around.


For months now, I had been doing something when I find a verse and focus on it.  I call it Scripture-Gramming.  Its kind of like Diagramming Sentences (which I have been grading a lot of over the years in our homeschool) but doing it with scripture verses and without classifications.

See below:


From time to time I will share them here!

Grace Never Ends


A few weeks ago I heard a song by People and Songs Never Wanna Go Back and it has been on my mind nearly everyday since then.  The song talks about freedom, living free from guilt, that things are working for our good and about grace.  YAHUAH’s grace is unlimited, it doesn’t expire, there is no timelimit, it doesn’t run out, it doesn’t get old…it is eternal.

Continue reading “Grace Never Ends”