What YAHUAH is Teaching Me Through Our Children

I’ve always wanted to be a mother and I am thankful that YAHUAH has given us five wonderful kids.  Before we had kids, I never thought that I could learn from them.  However, as the years continue to pass, I am finding that YAHUAH is teaching me many things through them.

Our Oldest Child (Daughter): I am learning to accept and to let go

I’ll never forget the day, our daughter said, “Why can’t you accept my hair the way it is!”  I believe her hair looks awesome pulled up in a ponytail, but she doesn’t like it like that at all.   Since that day, I accepted that she is different from me and she can like her hair.  In many ways she is different from me.  She likes to build, she plays guitar and piano, she is very independent.  I accept her the way that she is and was created and I don’t try to fit her into my box of opinions.

At one point we were struggling in homeschool.  One of our daughters was pretty sick and it affected our school day.  I didn’t want her (the sick daughter) to feel left behind, so I would wait to do our group subjects until days that she felt good enough.  Well our oldest daughter, was ready to take off.  She was absorbing everything around and she was starting to feel like she was being held back.  So instead of making her continue to wait for her sister to feel better, I began to let her work at her own pace.  In many subjects she completed her work so efficiently, that I had to create additional assignments for her!  The more I let go, the faster and easier she began to grow.  Now she is in the 9th grade (completing 10th grade work), she is composing music and prepping for college!!!!

Our Second Child (Daughter) – I am learning to see beauty is everywhere

Until our second daughter was born, I didn’t like pink, flowers were okay and I barely noticed anything pretty.  However as a baby she loved pink and pretty things.  Now as a 12 year old, she sees beauty in every sunrise and sunset.  She notices the flowers blooming, the myriad array of colors in everything and the smallest detail catches her attention.  I never noticed YAHUAH created such beauty, even, in creepy crawly things, until He blessed us with her.  She is also our resident weather lady, science and history buff.

Our Third Child (Daughter) – I am learning that I need joy

On my first ultrasound, with our third daughter, she appeared to be bouncing around waving.  She is usually smiling and bouncing around exploding with joy all day.  She is a continual reminder that “The joy of YAHUAH is my strength.”

Our Fourth Child (Son) – I have learned that nothing is beyond repair or reuse

I call him “Mr. Fix-it”, our fourth child, shows us continually that although something looks like it is broken, it is often fixable.  He is often fixing remote control cars and  creating something out of “junk or trash.”  YAHUAH is in the business of fixing us all the time.  When others see that we aren’t worth their time to help, YAHUAH sees us as a person, ripe for His re-molding.

Our Fifth Child (Son) – I am learning about Grace

One day when our first son was about 9 months old, I was swinging him, next to a lady who had two sons.  As I watched them, I saw that our son needed a brother and so in that moment, I prayed that YAHUAH would give us a son.  A few weeks later, we were pregnant again, with a son.  From his birth this son, has been very demanding.  He automatically stands up for his-self, he is very attentive but he can be a big challenge too.  As I watch him and sometimes wonder what I could do better, so that he will act better, I remember Grace.  Even when I am at my worst, YAHUAH still loves me.  He doesn’t withhold the sun shining because of my actions but in spite of me, He showed His love by sending His own Son to die for my sins;  Grace.  Even though sometimes I feel like I can’t take the challenge of our son, I realize that he needs another Measure of Grace.  Sometimes I just hug him.  Sometimes I have him help me do chores.  Sometimes I simply overlook his actions, knowing that this phase must surely pass (one day).  We know that YAHUAH has a Great Purpose for him, so we often pray for him and let him know that We Love Him No Matter What.

I believe YAHUAH is teaching us in every situation and through many people.  If we just take time, open our eyes and see His hand and His voice are with us, directing us everyday.


Who Was She? Dorcas: Known

“Now there was at Yapho a certain Talmidy named Tseviyah (Dorcas), this woman was full of good works and almsdeeds which she did.”

“…and showing the coats and garments which Dorcas made, while she was with them.”

Based Ma’aseh (Acts) 9:26-43

Tseviyah (Dorcas), was known for the good things that she did and the things that she made with her hands. Tseviyah (Dorcas) is a great example of the Proverbs 31 woman who made things, who had a good heart, she helped others and but mostly she was known for her fear of YAHUAH.

What will we be known for?

What attitudes will we be known for?

A while ago, I made a chart to contrast the wicked and virtuous woman. Which kind of woman do you want to be known for?

Wicked   Virtuous
Do not meet with a harlot, because you will fall into her snares.  Ecc. 9:3   Forego not a wise and good woman: for her grace is above gold. Ecc. 7:19
Give not your being to harlots, that you do not lose your inheritance. Ecc. 9:6   Have you a wife on your mind?  Forsake her not; but do not give yourself to a light woman.  Ecc. 7:26
Turn away your eyes from a beautiful woman and do not look upon another’s beauty; for many been deceived by the beauty of a woman; for herewith love is kindled as a fire. Ecc 9:8   A wise daughter shall bring an inheritance to her husband: but she that lives dishonestly is her father’s heaviness.  Ecc 22:4
Sit not at all with another man’s wife, nor sit down with her in your arms, and do not spend your money with her drinking wine; because your heart will turn to her, and so through your desire you will fall into destruction.  Ecc. 9:9   In three things I was beautified, and stood up beautiful both before YAHUAH and men; the unity of the brethern, the love of neighbors, a man and a
wife that agree together.  Ecc. 25:1
Wine and women will make men of
understanding to fall away: and he that cleaves to harlots will become impudent. Ecc. 19:2
  Blessed is the man that has a virtuous wife, for the
number of his days shall be double.  Ecc 26:1
She that is bold dishonors both her father and her husband, but they both shall despise her.  Ecc. 22:5   A virtuous woman rejoices her husband, and he
shall fulfill the year of his life in peace.  Ecc 26:2
Thus shall it go also with the wife that leaves her husband, and brings in an heir by another.  For first, she disobeyed the law of The Most High; and secondly, she hath trespassed against her own husband; and thirdly, she hath played the whore in adultery, and brought children by another man.  She shall be brought out into the congregation, and inquisition shall be made of her children.  Her children shall not take root, and her branches shall bring forth no fruit.  She shall leave her memory to be cursed, and her reproach shall not be blotted out.  And they that remain shall know that there is nothing better than the fear of YAHUAH, and that there is nothing sweeter than to take heed unto the commandments of YAHUAH.  Ecc 23:22-27   A good wife is a good portion, which shall be given
in the portion of them that fear YAHUAH.  Ecc. 26:3
I had rather dwell with a lion and a dragon, than to keep house with a wicked woman.  Ecc 25:16   A silent and loving woman is a gift of YAHUAH; and there is nothing so much worth as a mind well ins-tructed.  Ecc. 26:14
The wickedness of a woman changes her face, and darkens her countenance like sackcloth.  Her husband shall sit among his neighbors; and when he hearth it shall sigh bitterly.  Ecc 25:17-18   A shamefaced and faithful woman is a double grace, and her continent mind cannot be valued.  Ecc.
All wickedness is but little to the wickedness of a woman: let the portion of a sinner fall upon her.  Ecc 25:19   As the sun when it arises in the high heaven; so is the beauty of a good wife in the ordering of her house. Ecc. 26:16
As the climbing up a sandy way is to the feet of the aged, so is a wife full of words to a quiet man.  Ecc 25:20   …A married woman is a tower against death to her husband. Ecc. 26:22
Stumble not at the beauty of a woman, and desire her not for pleasure. 
Ecc 25:21 (must be more than beautiful for a man)
  …An Elohimly woman is given to him that fears YAHUAH.  Ecc. 26:23
A woman, if she maintains her husband, is full of anger, impudence, and much reproach.  Ecc 25:22   …An honest women will reverence (respect) her husband.  Ecc.26:24
A wicked woman abateth courage, makes an heavy countenance and a wounded heart: a woman that will not comfort her husband in distress makes weak and feeble knees.  Ecc 25:23   …she that is shamefaced will fear YAHUAH.
Ecc. 26:25
Give the water no passage; neither a wicked woman liberty to gad about.  If she go not as you would have her cut off from your flesh, and give her a bill of divorce and let her go. Ecc. 25:25-26   A woman that honors her husband shall be judged wise of all.  Ecc. 26:26
A shameless woman shall be counted as a dog; Ecc. 26:25   The beauty of a woman cheers the countenance, and a man loves nothing better. Ecc. 36:22
An evil wife is a yoke shaken to and fro; he that has hold of her is as though he held a scorpion.  Ecc 26:7   He that gets a wife begins a possession, a help like unto himself, and a pillar of rest.  Ecc 36:24
A drunken woman and a gadder abroad causes great anger, and she will not cover her own shame.  Ecc. 26:8   Where no hedge is, there the possession is spoiled and he that hath no wife will wander up and down mourning.  Ecc 36:25
The whoredom of a woman may be known in haughty looks and eyelids.  Ecc. 26:9   Children and the building of a city continue a man’s name: but a blameless wife is counted above them both.  Ecc. 40:19
If thy shameless, keep her in straightly, lest she abuse herself through over-much liberty. Ecc. 26:10   A capable wife is the crown of her husband…
Mis 12:4
An harlot shall be accounted as spittle; Ecc. 26:22   Houses and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but an understanding wife is from YAHUAH. Ecc. 19:14
A wicked woman is given as a portion to a wicked man: Ecc 26:23   Who does find a capable (virtuous) wife? For she is worth more than rubies.  Mis 31:10
A dishonest woman conteneth (regards with distain); Ecc. 26:24   The heart of her husband shall trust her, and he has no lack of gain.  Mis 31:11
A shameless woman shall be counted as a dog; Ecc. 26:25   She shall do him good, and not evil all the days of her life.  Mis 31:12
…but she that dishonors her husband in her pride shall be counted unelohimly of all. Ecc. 26:26   She shall seek wool and flax, and with delight she works with her hands.  She shall be as the ships of Tarshish, she brings in her food from afar.  She also rises while it is still night, and provided food for her household, and a portion for her girls.  She shall consider a field and buy it; form her profits she shall plant a vineyard.  She shall gird herself with strength and strengthen her arms.  She shall taste when her grain is good; her lamp does not go out by night.  She shall stretch out her hands to the dist-aff and her hand shall hold the spindle.  She shall extend her hand to the poor, and she shall reach out her hands to the needy.  She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household is dressed in scarlet.  She shall make tapestry for herself; she is dressed in fine linen and purple.  Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.  She shall make fine linen and sell them, and shall give girdles for the merchants.  Mis 31:13-2z4
A loud crying woman and a scold shall be sought out to drive away the enemies.  Ecc. 26:27   Strength and splendor are her garments, and she re-joices in time to come. .  Mis. 31:25
Keep a sure watch over a shameless daughter, lest she make thee a laughingstock to your enemies, and a byword in the city, and a reproach among the people, and make you ashamed before the multitude.  Ecc. 42:11   She shall open her mouth with wisdom and on her tongue is the Torah of kindness.  .  Mis. 31:26
For from garments comes a moth; and from women wickedness.  Ecc. 42:12   She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.  .  Mis. 31:27
Better is the churlishness (meanness) of a man than a courteous woman, a woman, I say, which brings shame and reproach. Ecc. 42:14   Her children shall rise up and call her blessed; Her husband too, and he praises her:  “Many daughters have done nobly, but you have risen over them all.”  Ecc. 31:28-29
For why should you, my son, be captivated by a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? Mis 5:20   Loveliness is deceptive and prettiness is vain, a woman who fears YAHUAH is to be praised.  Ecc. 31:30
To guard you against an evil woman, from the flattering tongue of a strange woman.  Do not desire her prettiness in your heart, neither let her captivate you with her eyelids. Mis 6:24-25   Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.  Ecc. 31:31
For because of a whore one is brought to a crust of bread.  And an adulteress hunts a precious life? Mis  6:26   In the same way, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that if any are disobedient to the Word, they, without a word, might be won by the behavior of their wives, having seen your blameless behavior in fear.  1 Kepha 3:1-2
(the Torah) To guard you against the strange woman, against the foreigner who flatters with her words.  Mish 7:5   Your adornment should not be outward – arranging the hair, wearing gold or putting on dresses – but the hidden Man of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a meek and peaceable spirit, which is of great value before Elohim.  1 Kepha 3:3-4
And look, a woman met him, dressed like a whore, with a hidden heart. Mis 7:10    
She was boisterous and stubborn, her feet did not stay at her own house. Mis 7:11    
With her many words she leads him astray, with her smooth lips she seduces him. Mis 7:21    
…(a wife) causing shame is like a rottenness in his (her husband’s) bones. Mis 12:4    

Who Was She? Hannah – The Enemy’s Provoking Has A Time Limit

She felt like a failure.

She felt purposeless.

Provoked and tormented by her enemy day after, year after year, month after month…baby after baby, her enemy pushed her, harassed her, irritated her. Peninnah may have used every opportunity to provoke Hannah especially at the yearly sacrifice! Mocking her and treating her mean with ill contempt Peninnah, pointed out that Hannah was the problem. Also, since it was expected for women to have children, the others in the community may have looked at her scornfully, talked about her, or laughed at her too.

Yes she must be the problem, not her husband, Elqanah. He was fruitful through Peninnah and she was not.

Though she was loved and favored by him, she was powerless to do anything to change her barrenness. No doubt she had tried every remedy known to the women she knew, still nothing worked. What was wrong with her? What had she done wrong? Did she have some sin in her heart that caused the problem? Why after so many years, was she still unable to do what every woman at that time desired to do, be a mother?

One year when they went to Shiyloh, to sacrifice and to worship YAHUAH TSEVA’OT, she could take no more. She was beyond desperation. She was despondent and vexed to the point that she stopped eating-her sorrow could no longer be concealed. Fleeing she went to the Temple and there she wept profusely. Her pain so heavy and tears in bitterness, she appeared to be in a state of drunkenness to the High Priest, Eli. As she cried out to YAHUAH TSEVA’OT she said:

When Eli realized that this woman was not drunk but rather pouring out her heavy heart, he blessed her. In her prayer and Eli’s blessing, the enemy’s provoking had lots its power. She returned no longer in sorrow but full of strength and joy. After so many years of praying, she was finally heard.

A song comes to mind by Rita Springer called Defender when I read this, the lyrics are:

You go before I know
That You’ve gone to win my war
You come back with the head of my enemy
You come back and You call it my victory

You go before I know
That You’ve gone to win my war
Your love becomes my greatest defense
It leads me from the dry wilderness

All I did was praise
All I did was worship
All I did was bow down
All I did was stay still

You have saved me
So much better Your way
Hallelujah, great Defender
So much better Your way

You know before I do
Where my heart can seek to find Your truth
Your mercy is the shade I’m living in
You restore my faith and hope again

All I did was praise
All I did was worship
All I did was bow down
All I did was stay still

Sometimes there is nothing we can do but worship. We cannot change the circumstances or situations. We’ve done all that we can do. We are at the end of our rope. We are broken and in despair.

I know of a woman who was married to an abusive, adulterating man, who continually provoked her to anger day after day. Sometimes he would say he was sorry but nothing changed. The woman tried to wait, tried to hope, tried to believe he would change and things only got worse. Until one day, while praying she received her answer and a year later the way was made for her to start over. During the waiting time, nothing the man did or said, bothered her again-the enemy’s provoking had lost its power.

Today, woman of YAHUAH, you may be experiencing the enemy’s provoking in your life. Maybe it is in a work situation, a sickness that is unrelenting, a relationship that is driving you crazy, even hoping for a child that is wayward or unborn -year after year you have hoped and you have prayed yet nothing has changed. It may seem like the enemy has the upper hand in your life, but know that YAHUAH has a perfect time. Hannah’s barrenness was not caused by her. It was caused by YAHUAH for His purpose and in His time, the barrenness was turned around, just as it was for Sarah and Rachel.

Woman, don’t stop crying out. Don’t stop praying. One day, YAHUAH may speak through someone:

“Go in peace: and the Elohim of Yisra’el grant you your petition that you have asked of Him.” 1 Shemu’el 1:17

For even more encouragement, listen to the previous week’s Sabbath Message of Hope called

The Broken Woman and also this week’s current Message of Hope called Broken for HIS Glory.

This post is based is based off the book of 1 Shemu’el chapter 1. While reading Jill Eilleen Smith’s book about Hannah called A Passionate Hope, I saw how provoked Hannah may have been. Though the book is a fictional account it accurately follows the scripture story and has some further things to consider such as the other things that were going on during this time in history. The sons Eli were corrupt and were polluting the temple while Eli did nothing. Another aspect of the story was how hard it may have been for Elqanah and Hannah to fulfill the vow in giving Shemu’el back to YAHUAH. Furthermore, I saw in the book, that sometimes we may have to help our enemy and that they both shared the same type of despair.

Shabbat Message: Broken For HIS Glory

Why me?

Why is this happening to me?

What did I do to deserve this?

How come I am dealing with this?

Why am I…broken?

There are times in our lives when neither our own sin or the sins of others is the reason for the situations or circumstances we are going through.  Something’s we are born with.  Something’s that happen are seasons in our lives.  Either way there is a purpose for everything. 

Brokenness often comes as a purpose for our own belief or to help others to believe.  We can be broken for hope. Often we cannot see the outcome of our brokenness while we are in it.  So we must learn to have hope while we are broken trusting that He loves us enough to show forth HIS glory through and to us.

This Sabbath Message Broken for His Glory comes to share Hope and Joy for the broken.  Whether you feel blind or lame, be it physically, spiritually or emotionally today, there is hope. Click here or on the image below to listen to this week’s Sabbath Message of Hope.

Who Was She? A Woman of Gratitude

It had been days since they’d sent for Him, yet He wasn’t there. She’d watched Him do amazing things in the lives of other people but now when she needed Him herself, He didn’t come to her at all.  Didn’t He care for her and her family?  Why didn’t He help His friend?

I don’t know which she felt more of anger or grief, nevertheless she was hopeless.  She and her sister were surrounded by many people, but He was not one of them.  What was she to think?  What was she to do now?

Then when all hope was lost and life seemed dead, He showed up and did the miraculous.  He did the unbelievable.  He gave them back, that which was dead.  This was a monumental moment in her life and those around her. 

She had to find a way to express her gratitude.  Maybe there was…she had something she had been saving up.  It was so valuable and it was cherished by her.  It was something she’d set aside for one day.  She did not know that one day was coming but the Heavenly Father did.

Though not socially acceptable she came, pouring the precious ointment on Him, its fragrance filled the room.

What is my response when YAHUSHA HaMashiach (Messiah) restores hope? 

What is my response when YAHUSHA HaMashiach does the unbelievable? 

Is my response like that of the nine lepers who didn’t return when they had been healed to keep on going in life? 

Or is my response like that of the one leper and Miryam, who came back to worship Him?  

Am I so wrapped up in myself and getting the answer to prayer that I forget the One who did it for me?

When I have the chance am I bringing my best of worship to His feet?  Or is my life so busy that I have to make an appointment for it? 

Have I given my all to everything and everyone else, not saving up something for Him? 

Am I more concerned about the rules of righteousness than I am about the One whose righteousness cleans me?

Miryam came to Him fearlessly and purposely she expressed her gratitude to Him.  Her gratitude was so strong that it filled the room and others could not help but notice.  She poured out her best on Him, can we today, do any less with our praise and worship?

Based Upon Yahuchanon (John) Chapters 11 and 12

Which Bread Am I Eating?

The other day a psalm caught my eye. 

“It is vain for you to raise up early, to sit up late,

To eat the bread sorrows:  for so He gives His beloved sleep.”

Tehilliym (Psalms) 127:2

What I focused on was “to eat the bread of sorrows” and I thought what bread have I been eating?  I was feeling depressed, sad, despondent, discouraged and this had been going on for a while.

If we are what we eat and if I am feeding on sorrow, then sorrow is what had been filling me.

However, what if I made different bread choices?  What if I choose the bread of joy?  The bread of love?  The bread of life?

Later that day, I was reading Yahuchanon (John) chapter 6 and for the first time, what YAHUSHA HaMashiach (Messiah) was saying made sense.  I know am not the only one who is puzzled by some of His words.  Sometimes I think the puzzling happens because we read only part of a chapter or even having them separated in general, may contribute to missed or incomplete understanding.

Anyway, what does bread have to do with Yahuchanon (John) 6 and me understanding more?

Well, YAHUSHA HaMashiach (Messiah) already knew what He was going to do to feed the crowd of people.  Most of the time I have separated the miracle of the bread and fish, from the rest of the chapter.  However, when I read the chapter entirely, I saw that when the crowd found Him, they wanted to eat.  They knew He could fill them physically.  However, YAHUSHA has always pointed to:

Eternal Life.

He later told them, the bread from Mosheh was not bread that leads to eternal life, but the true bread from heaven gives life comes from the Father.  The people basically said “okay give us this bread.”

Then YAHUSHA told them that He is the bread of life and those who come to Him will never hunger (we still get hungry from bread) and never thirst. The Yahudiym (Jews) were very upset because of what He said, asking how a man can give us his flesh to eat?

YAHUSHA HaMashiach (Messiah) responded back by saying they are correct, and that if one doesn’t eat His flesh and drink His blood then they cannot have eternal life.

Okay, to be honest, that part always stopped me.  What did He really mean?

Finally, I read down to verse 63:

“It is the ruach that quickens; the flesh profits nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are ruach and they are life.”

His words are spirit and they are life!   As Shim’on Kepha, soon declares “…You have the words of eternal life…”

When we chose to eat of His word, we can find life.

“As the living Father has sent me, and I live by the Father: so he that eats Me, even he shall live by me.”

Yahuchanon (John) 6:57

So if I am eating of the bread of life, the bread made purely of His words, I can have life-life eternally.

So what am I going to choose to eat today?  Will I choose the bread that is only temporal, likely feeding me the junk leading to depression, anger, disbelief and discouragement?  Will I choose the bread of life, which comes from the Heavenly Father YAHUAH through His Son YAHUSHA HaMashiach?

Who Was She? Hannah: It Was Time

We all know the story of Hannah very well (found in 1 Shemu’el (Samuel) 1:2-2:21) , however today I’m sharing my own Hannah story. My story is a bit different because I was not barren (at that time we had three daughters and one son) and nor was I being tormented by someone else for that barrenness.

One day when, our first born son was about 9 months old, I took him and his sisters to the park. While I was swinging him on a swing, another mother came with two boys both under 4 years old. I observed how the boys interacted with each other and I said in my heart:

“YAHUAH, I don’t want another child right now. But I see that our son needs a brother. So if it is in Your will, please allow us to have another son.”

At that time, I didn’t want to have any more children. Our first born son had WPW w/ SVT, so I was tired of the challenges it brought as well as the challenges of pregnancy. With him, I had multiple issues which included a Near Death Experience and I had no desire to go through that again. Lastly, my husband and I, due to all the stresses weren’t on the best of terms.

Still I prayed. Setting my fears and desires aside, I prayed.

The next month, I was pregnant. Months later we learned that this baby was a boy!!!

All of our children are unique, with special callings. This last born son, however, has a call on his life. We don’t know what it is and how YAHUAH will use him but I am telling you, this boy surprises us all the time.

Many times in the mornings, after I do our scripture reading and ask the kids what they learned from what they heard, he applies the word accurately in his responses. Two years ago, when I started having Girl Time with our daughters, he made me a card telling me “thank you for blessing my sisters” – he was only 4 years old!

Weeks can pass between the times when we have focused on one scripture topic and have moved on to the next, but then he will apply something in the past to the present correctly! Like Shemu’el (Samuel) in the bible, we know that he hears YAHUAH and that YAHUAH hears him.

Like Hannah, YAHUAH had a time for Shemu’el and for each of us, He has a time for everything.

Getting Rid of Spiritual Constipation

I didn’t know there was such a thing until earlier today, when I was feeling spiritually stuffed up.  I felt like there was a blockage somewhere.  I started to feel sluggish – spiritually hopeless and depressed.  I sat down on a chair and held my head.  Worry began to plague me and I started counting down the hours when I could go back to bed…


I started remembering the Word of YAHUAH.

I started thinking of His faithfulness and goodness.

I started thinking about how He is in control and aware of everything.

I started thinking that maybe I need to trust Him more.


I was able to sit up and continue on in my day.  I was able to smile at our kids and serve our family, with a sincere heart of love, instead of being consumed by worry and fear.

Yes, I believe we can be spiritually constipated with the cares of the world, with sin, with doubt, with fear, with unforgiveness, with bitterness, with anger, with guilt, with hate and other things.  However, YAHUAH’s word which is sharper than any two-edged sword is able to clear through all of that if we let it.  YAHUAH’s word repeatedly says “Let this mind” or “Let the peace” and it is our choice, to let The Word in.

When we let the truth of His Word pour through our hearts, those things that are hindering our forward movement can be destroyed and eliminated in our lives.  When we clear out all these things, then His love can move through us and bless others.

So, today if you are feeling spiritually constipated today, reach for the medicine which can give you life again and heal your inner most being!

He Always Hears Me

  He Always Hears Me

If I could,
I’d climb the uppermost mountain in the world.
I’d stand on its uppermost peak
and I’d shout as loud as I could:
Followed by,
What do You want from me?
What is going on down here?
What is the purpose of pain?
What is the purpose of loneliness?
What is it that I need to do differently?
What is Your purpose for me?
What is Your plan for this situation?
What do You want me to do?
What are You going to do with all the wickedness that is abounding?
What changes do I need to make?
What do I need to do to know that You are here?
What have I done to displease You?
What can I do for Your mercy?
If I could,
I’d climb the highest mountain in the world.
I’d stand on its highest peak
and I’d yell as loud as I could:
YAHUAH, CAN You hear me?
Followed by,
Where are You?
Do You see me?
What are You going to do about this situation?
Where are other believers?
Where is my deliverance?
When are things going to change?
What’s wrong with me?
Why is there so much pain in life?
If I could,
I’d climb the tallest mountain in the world.
I’d stand on its tallest peak
and I’d bellow as loud as I could:
How am I to live my life before You?
How do I let my light shine, in times like these?
How do I encourage my husband?
How do I reassure our kids?
How can I better example?
How can I be a better friend?
How can I make better choices?
But instead,
I lay down,
realizing that I don’t need to go anywhere.
YAHUAH hears me.

He hears me
But I don’t always hear Him.
I miss His voice.
I miss His voice because I am looking in the wrong places,
I miss His voice because I am too busy,
I miss His voice because I don’t want to accept His answer,
I miss His voice because it doesn’t sound like I want it to-
you know the one we all listen for –

But He speaks through the smallest of whispers,
He speaks through the tears of a friend,
He speaks through the prayers of a husband,
He speaks through handmade cards,
He speaks through the cords of a song,
He speaks through the smiles of a child,
He speaks through the strangest of dreams,
He speaks through the unexpected hugs-big and small,
He speaks through the chirping of the birds,
He speaks through the tear-jerking moments in movies,
He speaks through the beauty of the sunrise,
He speaks through the calm in a storm,
He speaks through the closed doors,
He speaks through the open windows,
He speaks through the testimonies of overcomers…
Through all my questions,
My worries,
My fears,
My sorrows
My tears
He always hears me.

Written by: A Joyful Womanhood 6/15/2019 4:00pm

Who Was She? Lydia: No Ordinary Sabbath

She was a wise woman I am sure.  She sold fine cloth and must have carefully interacted with those around her.  She took time every week for what was most important to her, worship and prayer with others near the river on the Sabbath.  We don’t know her prayers or who exactly accompanied her but she wasn’t alone, members of her household were there too.

This Sabbath, was no ordinary Sabbath, YAHUAH had something for Lydia on this day.  He opened her heart to receive the good news of Messiah/Mashiach in her life through Sha’ul!  YAHUSHA knocked on the door of her heart and she willing received Him in!  She wasn’t alone in receiving YAHUSHA, people around were immersed at the same time she was!

Like her, sometimes it is time for us to go a step farther in our faith.  We may have been worshiping YAHUAH for many years but now our life needs a change as did Lydia’s and others.

When YAHUAH comes and directs something to me or shares something with me, will I keep going about my ordinary day OR will I stop to receive what He has for me?  Will I share what He has given me OR keep it to myself?  Will I open my heart and home?

Based upon Ma’aseh (Acts) 16:6-15

Who Was She? The Woman & Her Deliverer

They thought they had a plan to ensnare Him.  It was a brilliantly crafted plan; surely this was the perfect way to confront Him. 

I am sure they probably thought, “Who does He think, He is?  Forgiveness and healing’s on the Sabbath – we don’t authorize that.  We’ll show Him.”

The woman. 

She was their perfect scapegoat.  She was a sinner.  Though she may have held many of their secrets, her sin according to the law was the focus, not theirs (or so they thought)! 

After much planning, the time came to put their plan into action.  Grabbing her in the very act of sin, they dragged her before Him and threw her at His feet.  Then they stood there, arms crossed, ready for a battle,  saying “This woman was caught in the act of adultery, according to the law she is to be stoned.”

What they did not know was that they were part of a greater plan.

Afraid and trembling at His feet, she must have thought this was her end…


Today was the day that her sin, through her accusers brought her to the Deliverer.

Eagerly they waited for the judgment to come yet there was none.  YAHUSHA Messiah didn’t accuse her.  He didn’t tell her what a horrible woman she was and start grabbing a stone.   Instead He pointed out their sin.  To her, He acknowledged her sin and gently said to her, “Go and sin no more.”

The enemy of our souls has a plan each day.  He thinks that he can take our sins, laying them bare out in the open and point his ugly finger at us…saying “See I told you she was a sinner.” Maybe the very people who seem to be close to us, have turned on us and we find ourselves out in the open and exposed.  Maybe it looks like our end is near…

But this exposure, only reveals the mercy of YAHUSHA HaMashiach and the long-suffering’s of our Heavenly Father YAHUAH.  Today we are facing various trials whether they are due to sin or challenges of life, they are still trials.  These trials of situations and/or sin, should take us to His feet, where deliverance is ours for the choosing.

We don’t know the outcome of that woman, but today you and I can make the choice to leave those things that are displeasing in the Father’s eyes and follow His Son – YAHUSHA HaMashiach.

He is our Deliverer.

Based on Yahuchanon (John) 8:1-11

Living with Food Allergies and Sensitivities

It had  been a long day. 

A much longer day than I had expected.

Though I prepared snacks that would have lasted our kids a few hours, our appointment took nearly three times as long as we’d thought.  When it was finally over, as we began our way home, we stopped at a fast food restaurant that I thought might be okay to eat at.

As our three girls and I approached the order counter, there was a big sign that said:

“Our products may contain peanut allergen.”

I looked at our three daughters each one at a time.  All of them have a nut allergy, with one being extremely allergic-I made the decision to leave – eating would have to wait until we arrived home and I would have to cook.  I was tired of cooking.  I needed a break – but at what cost?


Twenty years ago, if someone would have told me a person could be allergic to peanut butter, I would have thought they were crazy.  Flour? Carrots? Oats? Kiwi?  Peaches? Apples?

Yeah real crazy.

However when our oldest two daughters were eating a snack one day, I sat observing them.  They were eating apple slices with gold fish. A good snack right?  But I noticed something in our oldest daughter who was around 4 years old at the time, that she turned into the energizer bunny and could not stop moving.   I wandered what was happening to her.  Was she just excited about eating gold fish?

Over the next few weeks I tried some experiments on my own.

Apple and peanut butter – no problem.

Cheese and goldfish – problem.

Orange and oatmeal cookie – no problem.

Cheese  and saltine crackers – no problem.

Carrots sticks and salad dressing, gold fish – problem.

Goldfish – problem.

Finally I stopped buying goldfish and the problem stopped.

I believe she had an allergy to the dyes in the goldfish because as I started reading labels, anything that had that dye, she had similar problems. 

That was the beginning of our journey in food allergies and sensitivities.  As I started to read more labels, I noticed that many foods not only weren’t kosher (they contained pork, shell fish and or other unclean ingredients) but that they were full of many strange ingredients.  Eventually I read and heard that cow milk was bad for our bodies, so I switched to almond milk.  This is one of my biggest regrets…I will talk more about that further down.

During this same time we had our third daughter and after weaning her to nut milk she seemed to develop a rash.  We couldn’t  figure out why and it seemed like it wasn’t too bad however it  was always present on her stomach and legs.  Eventually as she learned to talk she would say “Mommy, legs hurt.”  I’d rub them with some creams, which seemed to help for the moment but nothing lasted very long.  Doctors suggested that she might have eczema, but they weren’t too sure.

Between the time of the birth of our two sons, I noticed some changes in myself.  Regular flour started to burn my hands and I would have these horrible sneezing attacks when I cooked with it.   Whenever I ate bread, I felt like there was a huge rock in my stomach.  Eventually I gave up eating bread and I wore a mask when I cooked with wheat.  Our second born daughter (who seemed to be born with a runny nose and was constantly sneezing) could not even come in the kitchen when I was mixing because her sneezing attacks were even worse!!!

Then one day, when she was eating some raw carrots for snack, she said to me “Mommy the carrots and raw almonds are burning my mouth.  They have been for a while.”

I told her to stop because she might have an allergy to them.  She stopped but I was still serving nut milk (I didn’t connect the two yet).   Eventually I found out about raw milk, particularly A2 Milk (which is the original cow  without the mutation).  We made the switch and…

Eczema gone.

Runny nose nearly gone.

I was still using white flour and wheat flour in baking until about few years ago, when our second born daughter ended up in the hospital for asthma.  We did not know she had asthma.  While in the ER, a respiratory therapist, said to me as he watched her “Have you had her checked for allergies because these things that she is doing are more than likely the cause of allergies?”

A few weeks later, her allergies  were confirmed: nearly every tree, grass, all nuts, wheat, corn, oats, raw carrots, some apples, and animals with fur.

I felt as if someone had sucked the breathe out of me-what were we going to do?  I could go without eating wheat (which is a bit hard as I love to bake) but what about her, what was she going to eat?  Corn was one of her favorite foods?  She loved nuts and apples?

As a family, we immediately made the switch to go Gluten-Free.  I still cooked with corn and oats for about another year (since they were lower on her allergic reaction chart) but those two things were removed from her diet a few months later.

One thing I noticed immediately, was that I could use the GF flours and I had no sneezing attacks!  What a relief! Well sort of…gluten free flours do not cook like wheat flour so there was a big learning curve.  I even attempted coconut flour with mixed results but I primarily cooked with sorghum, flax, and rice flours.

In our discovery regarding our second born daughters’ food allergies, we learned that some of our kids are allergic to nuts, raw carrots, kiwi, tapioca flour (which is in many gluten free blends) and some diary products.  For example our daughter with eczema, cannot eat many gluten free foods/mixes because of the dairy in them.  Recently I received a box of Bob Mill’s GF Brownie mix for free, well a day after the brownies where made, our third born daughter had huge patches of raised, itchy red spots on her stomach and legs.  She complained of feeling hot and was itching. 

So…living with food allergies and sensitivities that our family has is a big challenge.  We can all tolerate Einkorn flour but if our second born daughter or myself eats too much of it our stomachs will begin to hurt.

Over the years, we have learned to read labels on everything-hair products, toothpaste, laundry detergents-everything we buy is read to see if it contains anything that one or more of us might have a problem with.  Sometimes we miss the ingredient then a problem occurs and sometimes we recognize new ones.

Remember when I told you about having a long day and not being about to eat out because of the peanut allergy?  Well, on our way home, we stopped at the grocery store and picked up things to make nachos (Kettle potato chips for some and also some corn chips for the ones that tolerate it) and…some gluten free cookies.

Well the name brand gluten free cookies caused big problems in three of our kids!!!

Even the simplest of foods can cause us problems, so that means that we have to prepare all our meals-no eating out at all.  I often (with the exception of Sabbath) spend 70-95% of my day in the kitchen.  Sometimes I want to give up!  I love to cook but sometimes  it is a chore rather than a passion.

One day though, while our daughter with eczema was having a hard night in pain, YAHUAH impressed it upon my heart that He gave me the passion for cooking not for my own pleasure, but for my family.  So now when I feel like I am most frustrated and tired, I find strength in His Word, knowing that He is with me through this time and I praise Him for the hands I have and the provision He gives us to eat what is good for us.

As much as possible I plan to share what things I have learned, recipes, and so forth of what has helped us.  In addition, we are all eating low carb and some are keto!!! 

Shabbat Message: The Broken Woman

Seems like no one is listening?

Does the heavenly Father, even hear the cry of women?

Doesn’t He see the problems in our lives?

Does He even care?

Doesn’t He see I am at the end of my rope?

Yes He does. Three woman.  Three encounters.  Three deliverance’s.  Three stories of hope and encouragement to us today.

So if you feel broken, discouraged, disappointed, worn down, or hopeless, YAHUAH has sent a word to you today!  Watch and listen to this Shabbat Message: The Broken Woman.




Scripture-Gramming: Guard+Do

Here is a scripture-gram that I have been meditating on the past week:


“And whatsoever we ask, we receive of Him, because we guard His commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.  And this is His commandment, that we should believe on the name of His Son YAHUSHA HaMASHIACH and love one another, as He gave us commandment.  And he that guards His commandments dwells in him, and He in him.  And hereby we know that He abides in us, by the Ruach which He has given us.”

1 John 3:22-24

When I read these verses, I focused on the fact that believing on the a Name of YAHUSHA Messiah and loving one another are placed together.  I believe on the Name of YAHUSHA HaMashiach, but do I love others?  Loving others also pleases our heavenly Father YAHUAH.

The Power of YAHUSHA’s Sacrifice

Have you ever thought about what a sin sacrifice might have looked like?

Recently, I read a book by Jill Eileen Smith called “The Crimson Cord” which is about Rahab.  I know the book is a historical fictional account based on scriptures, however as I was reading about Rahab’s view point on the sacrifice that Yahusha son on Nun lead, I found that it was eye opening.

“The journey to Mount Ebal took two days, and the building of the altar was a process such as Rahab had never seen.  No iron tool like those used in quarries touched the uncut stones that the men of Israel crated up the hill.  Rahab stood with the women, her gaze often straying to Salmon as he hefted heavy stones with apparent ease and put them exactly where Joshua indicated.

At last, the altar completed, the priests came forward with bleating lambs and lowing oxen, Rahab stood beside Eliana, transfixed one moment, stricken the next.  Every time a lamb’s throat was slit and its blood caught in a bronze basin, she felt the weight of her past, memories she thought long hidden flooding her mind.  The blood became each man who knocked on her door, the lambs the babe she had last.

Her vision blurred as she watched the innocent die for the guilty.  Despite Salmon’s attempt at explanation, she still did not grasp how this could free or make her clean.  Even if she spent the rest of her life punished for her sins, she would not feel clean.  Why should a lamb suffer on her account?

(I am not going to quote the whole 2-3 pages, but at one point during the sin sacrifice, Yahusha son of Nun instructions Salmon to offer Rahab an opportunity to have a lamb sacrificed for her and Salmon. Now see what happens.)

Her fingers rested against the lamb’s woolly neck, and she sensed its terror, felt the beating of its heart.  She barely heard the last words of the priest, but then, too soon, another priest slit the lamb’s throat.  She felt its heart stop in an instant.  A sob escaped her.  “Oh Elohim, O Elohim!” She fell to her knees, rocking back and forth, as the priest caught the lamb’s blood and lifted its limb body to place on YAHUAH’s altar.

The tears flowed freely now as her fingers explored the soft fur of the glistening white lamb.  Take me instead.  Don’t make this sweet animal die in my place.

…why did You spare me? The lamb did nothing wrong.  It was I, Elohim of Israel.  I alone who sinned against You.  ”

*italics indicate where I have corrected the Name of YAHUAH, Yahusha son of Nun and the title of Elohim. Quoted from pages 275-277

This was not some everyday practice for Rahab.  She was a foreigner who choose to help Yisra’el and eventually join herself to them.  In order to become Salmon’s wife she would have had to experience sacrifices and complete other requirements according to the law.  So for her, realizing the weight of her sin would have been real.  I will come back and focus on her later, there is another aspect to focus on.

When I think about the sacrifice that YAHUSHA Messiah willfully choose to do on my behalf, I am in awe.  His sinless life, for my sin-filled life is completely uncomprehendable.  He didn’t wait for me to choose to believe in Him.  He didn’t wait for me to follow commands or to get my life right.  He paid the penalty for my sins and reconciled me to YAHUAH.  There are no strings attached to YAHUAH’s Grace and there is nothing I can do to earn His Forgiveness.

For a few weeks now, I have been reading through Hebrews, and have had my eyes further opened.  This week when I read chapter 10, I thought about the people living prior to YAHUSHA Messiah’s death.  Back then, there was a remembrance of sin year by year but due to YAHUSHA’s death there is no longer a remembrance of sin!!!  No yearly going back and again and again, sacrificing over and over, for the same sin!  The past is in the past and the slate has been cleaned:

“For the Torah having a shadow of good things to come, and not the very image of the things, can never with those sacrifices which they offered year by year continually make the comers thereunto perfect.  For then would they have not ceased to be offered? Because the worshippers once purged should have had no more conscience of sins.  But in those sacrifices there is a remembrance again made of sins every year.  For it is impossible that the blood of bulls and of goats take away sins.” Hebrews 10:1-5

The Torah pointed the way to YAHUSHA Messiah but it did not clean nor does it perfect us.  An animal can’t truly comprehend sin but YAHUSHA did.  He was tempted as we are, yet without sin.

“Wherefore when He came into the world, He said, “Sacrifice and offering You would not, but a body You have prepared me: In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin You had no pleasure.”

Then said I, “Lo, I came (in the volume of the cepheriym it is written of me,) to do Your will, O YAH.”

Above when He said, “Sacrifice and offering and burnt offerings and offering for sin You would not, neither had pleasure therein; which are offered by the Torah;

Then said He, “Lo, I come to do Your will, O YAH.” He takes away the first, to establish the second.  By the which will we are sanctified through the offering of the body of YAHUSHA HAMASHIACH once for all.” Hebrews 10:5-10

One time.  Not daily. Not yearly. ONCE.  We are cleansed, purified-no longer are we in need of rituals-but by His Body we are clean!

“And every priest stands daily ministering and offering oftentimes the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins: But this Man, after He had offered one sacrifice for sins forever, sat down on the right hand of YAHUAH.” Hebrews 10:11-12

YAHUSHA’s work is done, finished, over, and completed!  FOREVER-YAHUSHA’sdeath doesn’t need to happen again.  My sins have been taken away completely!

“From henceforth expecting till His enemies be made His footstool.  For by one offering He has perfected forever them that are sanctified.” Hebrews 10:13-14

There is no limit or expiration date of His offering.  It is eternal.  His offering is FOREVER!!!

“Whereof the Ruach Haqoesh also is a witness to us: for after that He had said before, “This is the covenant that I will make with them after those days,” says YAHUAH, “I will put my Torah into their hearts, and in their minds will I write it; And their sins and Torahless deeds I will remember no more.” Hebrews 10:15-17

No more remembrance, my sins are gone, finite, destroyed, erased, removed, purged…no matter the word used, YAHUAH (when I confess and repent) remembers my sins NO MORE!  Also, back then, the law was written on tablets of stone by the leader and/or priest.  Now YAHUAH, Himself, writes it on our hearts and in our minds-this is personal.  No more separation.

“Now where there is forgiveness of these, there is no longer a slaughter offering for sin.  So, brothers, having boldness to enter into the Set-apart Place by the blood of YAHUSHA, by a new and living way which He instituted for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High Priest over the house of YAHUAH, let us draw near with a true heart in completeness of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from a wicked conscience and our bodies washed with clean water.” Hebrews 10:18-22

The debt/penalty of sin has been fulfilled.  There is no need for us to be afar from the Father YAHUAH, we can come close to Him, through YAHUSHA!

So when the enemy comes and attempts to bring my sins up, I can freely say that I have been forgiven and I have YAHUSHA’s Resurrection Power!  While our oldest daughter was playing Resurrection Power on her acoustic guitar one night, I meditated on the words:

You called me from the grave by name
You called me out of all my shame
I see the old has passed away
The new has come!

Now I have Resurrection Power
Living on the inside
YAHUSHA, You have given us freedom
No longer bound by sin and darkness
Living in the light of Your goodness
You have given us freedom

*Songwriters: Ed Cash / Tony Brown / Ryan Ellis

So I am thankful to have a glimpse of the sacrifice that Rahab experienced but I am rejoicing over the Reconciliation and Forgiveness I have through the shed blood of YAHUSHA HaMashiach!!!

I am clean!