Sometimes in life we are hinder our healing, deliverance, and/or change in our lives. Sometimes we just need to let go and let YAHUAH work in our lives.
This week’s Shabbat Message: Talk To Me About Grace will encourage you to move beyond the opinions of others and your own excuses, to receive what you have been trying to reach for and to know fully that what YAHUAH gives is without cost.
It is time to believe, it is time to pray, it is time to let go, to press forward and allow His love to fill our hearts, which transcends all sin.
Sometimes the answer to an issue we are praying about is right in front of our face, but we are looking every where else, trying anything else but that one answer!
That’s what we have experienced recently.
We were trying to do something a while back and an option came for us to go a certain way but it was a different way that we were not as familiar with. So we chose to stay on the more familiar route, based on our previous success. However, months later, we were tired, frustrated and at our wits end. We were at the point of giving up, when we decided to look into that unfamiliar option again. This option which had been available all along was much easier and stress free. We could have saved time, money, emotional toil, and lessened the challenges, had we chosen this option sooner.
Yet we were the hold up because desiring our own ways and not wanting to give up this or that was blocking us from moving forward.
Then when we let go of the wheel, when we gave up, we surrendered our will, YAHUAH moved in miraculous ways. He provided for us in numerous ways. And His answer was there all along, we just had to let go.
Then one day it seemed as if nothing was going to work. First we hit one road block but we were able to find a potential path around. Then a few hours later, a second road block came-only it was higher than the first one.
Earlier this week, I remember laying in the bed, thinking I am so tired. I give up. I have to accept this “no” for now.
Then, His truth crumbled the first road block, correcting wrong information. A day or so later, YAHUAH’s grace demolished the second road block and His mercy shined down upon us. Then He, unexpectedly poured down even more grace upon us. Though it came through people, we know that at every point He was behind it.
YAHUAH’s grace on us.
All week long, I’ve thought about these situations, which completely turned around unexpectedly. I am change by them. As I reflect on the timing when this event started in our life, I see His hand was there. Most of the time I refused to see it, but He was still there. I know He hears me and has my best in His plans. All things work together for our good…the no’s, delays, challenges, frustrations and even some of our own decisions – all worked in our behalf – although we couldn’t see it.
He still moves mountains even today.
For me and you.
For all who believe.
Now, not all situations will work out similarly or according to our own earthly plans, most don’t even come close, but since YAHUAH’s plans for me are better than I can plan for myself, it is best to submit to His will.
Just because our prayers were answered close to our desires, doesn’t mean the answer is without it’s own challenges. There were somethings we had to let go of, some compromises we had to accept and some changes we had to and still have to make. We can’t see what YAHUAH has for us as we go in this direction, but I know His best-is best.
Nearly eight years ago, we had a miscarriage at about 8 weeks into the pregnancy. I went to the hospital with some bleeding on the first day of the Festival of Unleavened Bread that week. The doctors said everything was fine and this was normal.
A few days later, the bleeding became worse and big clots started coming out. I tried to rest as much as I could but nothing could stop what was happening. The next day was a Sabbath and when we saw flesh in the clots, we immediately went to the hospital, where they confirmed a miscarriage was happening.
I was crushed and confused. Why me? Why us?
I still don’t have the answers and a few months later we became pregnant with our first born son who is totally amazing to me!
But the grief that I went through for a long time was hard then and sometimes is still even hard now. There was a painting that someone created years ago of the Messiah carrying a black woman in His arms walking on the beach-that was me for several months after the miscarriage.
I felt like I was barely able to breathe, let alone function. I tried to hold myself together because we had three daughters who needed me, so I would get up in the morning, with every intent on doing one of my exercise videos, but within a few minutes, I’d end up on the floor in quiet tears.
I know that it was only YAHUAH’s hand on me that kept me from losing my mind. I felt like my heart had just been ripped away from me. I had doubts and fears. I wanted to blame YAHUAH, blame myself, blame anything I could think of. I felt like I was on the verge of breaking down, but YAHUAH kept me.
In a desperate search for help, I found March of Dimes web page about Miscarriages and I signed up to receive a package in the mail about grief. This was so helpful for me. It helped me to understand that my husband and I grieve differently and I didn’t need to be upset with him because of that. It helped me to see that we were not alone-that others have went through miscarriages too.
One moment at a time, one step at a time, I walked through that grief. Some days were good and some were bad. Having a husband and three daughters to homeschool and take care of everyday, pushed me to get out of bed, to go outside, and to find a moment to smile. Years later, I still feel that grief some days and the Festival of Unleavened Bread is a constant reminder of it. Yet, I am not at the same place I was eight years ago.
So I want you to know today, that you are not alone if you have went through or are going through a miscarriage. YAHUAH is there with you. Whether you have family near or far, have friends or not, don’t let go of YAHUAH’s hand. Though you may not see a way through your grief, let Him carry you through your grief. Don’t fight the grief you feel. Don’t stay in it either, but live through it.
May YAHUAH comfort you in His everlasting arms.